The Exceptional in the Mundane

I had a life crisis yesterday. Most of the time, I don't think past December. With my Senior thesis and presentation, I am just praying for the strength to make it through to the end of this semester. I can't fathom past finals. However, I have moments of panic, especially when I am driving back and forth to school during the week. There is something about being alone in the car, the open road in front of me, that makes me think. Then due to the thinking, I freak out.

Well, this happened last night. Only, I was not alone this time. I was able to discuss my panic, to really put into words what I believed the Lord may have planned for me after May 7. Once I cross that stage, my role as a college student will be over. The class schedules, assignment deadlines, and all the other academic nonsense that made up my life for the last four years will be over.

Looking back, I see how much I have changed, and I see how much my dreams have changed. We all want to live exceptional lives. I know when I started college, I had great dreams for myself. I wanted to work in London at the British Museum. I wanted to get a doctorate. I wanted to make a historical discovery. Well, these are all of the things I THOUGHT I wanted...

The closer I get to graduating, the more I find that the things I thought I wanted are not the things that will really make me happy.

The truth is, we all equate an exceptional life with how much money we make, our name being in lights, being known for something, being the best at something, doing something unique. However, some of the most exceptional people I know are the people that the world defines as mundane. They live their lives in small towns. They love the people around them with a fierceness few can fathom. They work hard. They never stop learning. They serve the Lord with their talents. They embrace new experiences.

God's dreams for my life are not the dreams that I had when I was a Freshman in college. Do I know all of what he has planned for me? Absolutely not. However, it will be exceptional because He has called me to it.

The exceptional in the world's mundane was easy to find when I stopped freaking out and really started looking for it!

I live on Animal Farm...

For my Modern British Fiction class, we just finished reading Animal Farm by George Orwell. Ever since reading it, I was struck by the fact that I know some of the characters from the farm. I guess, I kind of live on Animal Farm... minus the whole Communism thing.

We are all surrounded by people who believe they are entitled, like the pigs on Animal Farm. We are very familiar with people who believe they deserve the best of everything. This is not because they have earned it, but just because of their name or, in the case of the novel, their species.

We all know people like Boxer, the hardworking horse. We know those who are dedicated, fiercely loyal, and under-appreciated. We all know a Millie. We know people who are spoiled and treated like royalty, completely oblivious to the way ordinary people live.

We all know Clover. We all have those in our life who mother us, care for us, and try to soothe our worries. We all know a Napoleon. We all know those who believe they deserve respect and unquestioning allegiance. The idea that respect is earned is a completey foreign concept... about as foreign as the idea that people have a right to question things.

We all know a Snowball, or someone who has good intentions, but gets caught up along the way. We all know Squealer. We know people who manipulate us with their words, and try to convince us that our feelings and opinions are not valid.

When George Orwell wrote Animal Farm, he was not just mocking Communism. He was mocking humanity. He was using the pen to point out OUR flaws.

We don't treat each other well. We let our "animal" insticts guide us. We walk around (luckily on two legs) puffed up before the world. We believe people should focus on us at all times. We over-value our interests and under-value others.

With this way of behaving, no one gets out unscathed...Animal Farm made that quite clear.

To those people...

To those people who really know me...

To those people who know my fears, failures, and flaws...

To those people who know my dreams and desires...

To those people who love me, live with me, and let me be myself...

To those people who aren't afraid to tell me the truth...

To those people who aren't afraid to hear the truth...

To those people who encourage me...

To those people who really listen...

To those people who, in my weakness, support me...


I was overwhelmed Tuesday night by the fact that I have "those people" in my life. I am immeasurably blessed by God with the friends and family that surround me. I strive each day to be one of "those people." I strive to be the caring ear, supporting tongue, strong arm, and perfectly timed words. I strive to be deserving of such loyal companionship in this journey through life.

To those people... I love you.

A series of events...

Maybe life is really just a series of events.

It seemed odd to me that last week my family was celebrating the marriage of two wonderful people, and this week, I was attending a Memorial service.

Can our lives be broken down by specific events? Can they be outlined in neat little points by birthdays, weddings, funerals, and the like?

Maybe.

Life is the graduations, the births, the birthdays, the weddings, and unfortunately, the funerals. But, I also believe it is the small moments. The ones that cannot be plotted on an outline. It is the late night conversations with friends, the random lunch, the three day vacation, the song playing at church that breaks your heart, the laughter that makes you cry, the tiny fears you face, the strengths you discover, the love you give.

It is the events, large and seemingly insignificant, that make us who we are...that make up our lives.

The Town

This Sunday evening, I saw the new film titled The Town. Basically, the story revolves around a close-knit community in Boston known as Charlestown. In this small area, residents have grown up together and become like family. Also, most of them have joined the leading occupation of those in Charlestown: bankrobbing.

The story follows a bankrobber named Doug, whose hockey career was cut short by injury and poor choices. After what was thought to be a promising future away from the grips of Charlestown, he ends up where he started, and he finds it almost impossible to get away from the way of life that has now become like second nature.

While containing an unrealistic love story and a somewhat predictable ending, The Town also deals with an issue that I was not expecting: Environmental Determinism. An idea advocated by such writers as Thomas Hardy, Environmental Determinism basically says that an individual's success in life is fated by where they grew up. No matter how much an individual toils in opposition to their roots, they cannot escape where they come from.

As Christians, we like to advocate that God, and not environment, determines what we do in our lives. We stress with our words that fate has nothing to do with who we become and where we end up.

But, do we really live like we believe this?

In college, most people try to distance themselves from where they come from. They move out of town, change their hair color, examine their beliefs, or find a new interest in an attempt to prove to themselves or to someone else that the small town, high school, or family they grew up in has no bearing on their identity.

I've done it. I do it. I don't want to be the same person that I was in 2007, and when 2025 comes around, I won't want to be the same person I was in 2011. We all try to prove something to the people who knew us, to the people who abused us, or to the people who thought we were one thing when we were so much more.

The truth of the matter is, even as Christians, we act like WE are the ones who get us out of our environment. Our actions say that we have to fight Environmental Determinism every step of the way, even if our environment was not the crime-ridden streets of Charlestown. However, we forget that God does the changing. He morphs us into the people we are meant to be. He takes us away from home, brings us back home, or keeps us at home. Environmental Determinism has nothing to do with it.

So, live life as one liberated. God is changing you, moving you, shifting your interests, and widening your views. Don't fight to prove something. Just let Him work.

Medieval Mood...

Heart we will forget him!
You and I, tonight!
You will forget the warmth he gave,
I will forget the light.

When you have done, pray tell me,
That I my thoughts may dim;
Haste! lest while you're lagging,
I may remember him!

I have been in a Medieval sort of mood this week... if you can even consider Medieval to be a mood. What does this mean exactly? Well, for me, it meant empire-waisted, flowing dresses, Irish ballads you can dance to, and plans to attend a joust while eating a turkey leg in October.
I also could not get the words of an Emily Dickinson poem out of my head today. This blog is a fusion of those two elements. Hope you enjoyed it.

Endless possibilities

In preparation for my graduation application being due on September 10, I met with my advisor this week. We talked about the usual advisor/advisee stuff: IPW's, Credit hours needed to complete my major, etc. Then the conversation turned to after graduation. What did I want to do with my life? Where was I planning on going? Basically, he asked the really big questions.

Shockingly, I was not at all nervous after this conversation. I discovered the possibilities are endless. Whether it be graduate school or museum work or teaching or writing or whatever, God will place me where he wants me in life. All I can do is seek His will and do my best. All I can do is trust Him.

With my God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me.

Like I said, the possibilities are endless.

As a senior in college with an unbelievable work load, this is a very comforting realization!