An Exceptional Path

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." ~Psalm 37: 23

My life feels absolutely ordinary. In all honesty, most of my days are spent doing nothing exceptional.

I sleep, wake, eat, laugh, talk, think, walk, study, read, write, smile, hug, frown, kiss, and watch. Then, a new day dawns, and I do all of this over again.

Sometimes, it feels as if God's plan for my life has not been kicked into motion yet. Is all the sleeping, waking, walking, studying, laughing, talking, etc. a contributing factor in a great plan for me? I have been basically doing what I've always done. Most days can't be an important part of the plan, right?

Wrong. Oh, so wrong.

This beautiful verse in Psalms contradicts every part of that statement. God delights in EVERY DETAIL of my life. Every detail. Every. Single. One.

It's like I am walking on a path. In some parts of the path there are roots sticking up out of the ground, and I trip and fall. In other parts of the path, the sun bathes my skin in warmth, and there is breathtaking scenic wonders. On the path, in some places, the trail is wide enough for a friend. However, in some places, the way is narrow, so I have to walk it alone. In numerous spots, rain can pour down, chilling me to the bone and making me want to turn back. Hills can get steep. Soil can get rocky. There are moments where I skip and run. Moments where I crawl.

Then there are moments where I can stroll. The path is comfortable, predictable even. I see the same things I always see. I walk at the same pace I always do. It does not even feel like I am walking on a path at all. I am just walking with no destination in mind.

However, all of that can change. Something new and different could be just around the bend.

And if not, I am still walking on the path...even if I feel differently sometimes.

Every day is part of the path or plan. Every moment has been perfectly planned out by Him. Every conversation, laugh, tear, smile, or frown is part of the life he set out for me since before I was born.

It's such a beautiful plan. It's such an exceptional path.

He Hears Me...

Have you ever prayed for something for an extended period of time?

If so, you understand how frustrating it can become when you pray and pray and pray... but you do not receive an answer to your question or a fulfillment to your request.

It feels as if your prayers are trapped by the clouds. They don't quite go anywhere. Sometimes, you are tempted to ask, "God, do you even hear me? Do you see me?"

That was my question last night...

And my answer came this morning...

I have been making my way through the Psalms. This morning, I read Psalm 17-21. In Psalm 17:6, I read something that made me stop, causing tears to well up in my eyes.

"I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God."

This might be one of the hardest parts of faith: Believing in spite of our feelings.

All we can do is pray with confidence, knowing that God will answer in HIS TIME and according to HIS WILL. Even though we feel like God does not hear us, see what we are going through, and understand our pain, we have to have faith that He does. We cannot rely on our feelings. God is a promise-keeper. I have seen fulfilled promises and answers to prayers more times than I can count. Why would he behave differently this time?

I pray because I know he will answer. What a wonderful lesson to re-learn.

With Different Eyes...

How do I see myself?

Three different people on three separate occasions have told me, "Bethany, you don't see yourself the way other people see you." I am only coming to understand the depth of these words this week.

There is a huge gap between what I see and the truth of who I am. But this is not an ailment specific to only me...

I cannot tell you how many people I know and love do not see themselves the way I do. When I look at them, I see beauty and strength where they see flaws and weakness. I see compassion and loyalty where they feel isolated and judgmental. I see a wounded heart where they feel bitterness.

In my eyes, love covers these people. They are by no means perfect, but they are loved regardless. I see with different eyes because these individuals mean so much to me.

If my love, which is unstable and earth-bound covers them, I am in awe of how God sees us. Through his never-ending, never-failing love I am seen. What a wonderful thought that I am not only seen, but I am seen as I TRULY am. My creator sees me, sees the truth of who I am.

His love covers me. It covers my insecurities, weaknesses, flaws, doubt, and stupidity. It covers my pride, judgments, and freak outs. It covers my awkwardness, control freak tendencies, and fear. It covers self-doubt.

My God does not make mistakes. Everything He made "was good."

How do I see myself?

Because of God's love, I finally see myself with different eyes.

I love and am loved...

Nothing original from me in this post. School has exhausted my creative potential.

That being said, for a school assignment, I read Marie de France's Lanval. In it, Lanval describes the woman he loves. After I read it, I had to go back and read it again. I loved it THAT much. So, I thought I would share it.

"I love and am loved by a lady who should be prized above all others I know."

That was it; it was one line. For some reason, it stuck with me, and it has been in my head for days since I read it.

Simply beautiful. To love and be loved...

The Exceptional in the Mundane

I had a life crisis yesterday. Most of the time, I don't think past December. With my Senior thesis and presentation, I am just praying for the strength to make it through to the end of this semester. I can't fathom past finals. However, I have moments of panic, especially when I am driving back and forth to school during the week. There is something about being alone in the car, the open road in front of me, that makes me think. Then due to the thinking, I freak out.

Well, this happened last night. Only, I was not alone this time. I was able to discuss my panic, to really put into words what I believed the Lord may have planned for me after May 7. Once I cross that stage, my role as a college student will be over. The class schedules, assignment deadlines, and all the other academic nonsense that made up my life for the last four years will be over.

Looking back, I see how much I have changed, and I see how much my dreams have changed. We all want to live exceptional lives. I know when I started college, I had great dreams for myself. I wanted to work in London at the British Museum. I wanted to get a doctorate. I wanted to make a historical discovery. Well, these are all of the things I THOUGHT I wanted...

The closer I get to graduating, the more I find that the things I thought I wanted are not the things that will really make me happy.

The truth is, we all equate an exceptional life with how much money we make, our name being in lights, being known for something, being the best at something, doing something unique. However, some of the most exceptional people I know are the people that the world defines as mundane. They live their lives in small towns. They love the people around them with a fierceness few can fathom. They work hard. They never stop learning. They serve the Lord with their talents. They embrace new experiences.

God's dreams for my life are not the dreams that I had when I was a Freshman in college. Do I know all of what he has planned for me? Absolutely not. However, it will be exceptional because He has called me to it.

The exceptional in the world's mundane was easy to find when I stopped freaking out and really started looking for it!

I live on Animal Farm...

For my Modern British Fiction class, we just finished reading Animal Farm by George Orwell. Ever since reading it, I was struck by the fact that I know some of the characters from the farm. I guess, I kind of live on Animal Farm... minus the whole Communism thing.

We are all surrounded by people who believe they are entitled, like the pigs on Animal Farm. We are very familiar with people who believe they deserve the best of everything. This is not because they have earned it, but just because of their name or, in the case of the novel, their species.

We all know people like Boxer, the hardworking horse. We know those who are dedicated, fiercely loyal, and under-appreciated. We all know a Millie. We know people who are spoiled and treated like royalty, completely oblivious to the way ordinary people live.

We all know Clover. We all have those in our life who mother us, care for us, and try to soothe our worries. We all know a Napoleon. We all know those who believe they deserve respect and unquestioning allegiance. The idea that respect is earned is a completey foreign concept... about as foreign as the idea that people have a right to question things.

We all know a Snowball, or someone who has good intentions, but gets caught up along the way. We all know Squealer. We know people who manipulate us with their words, and try to convince us that our feelings and opinions are not valid.

When George Orwell wrote Animal Farm, he was not just mocking Communism. He was mocking humanity. He was using the pen to point out OUR flaws.

We don't treat each other well. We let our "animal" insticts guide us. We walk around (luckily on two legs) puffed up before the world. We believe people should focus on us at all times. We over-value our interests and under-value others.

With this way of behaving, no one gets out unscathed...Animal Farm made that quite clear.

To those people...

To those people who really know me...

To those people who know my fears, failures, and flaws...

To those people who know my dreams and desires...

To those people who love me, live with me, and let me be myself...

To those people who aren't afraid to tell me the truth...

To those people who aren't afraid to hear the truth...

To those people who encourage me...

To those people who really listen...

To those people who, in my weakness, support me...


I was overwhelmed Tuesday night by the fact that I have "those people" in my life. I am immeasurably blessed by God with the friends and family that surround me. I strive each day to be one of "those people." I strive to be the caring ear, supporting tongue, strong arm, and perfectly timed words. I strive to be deserving of such loyal companionship in this journey through life.

To those people... I love you.