I continue to be surprised by the messes I can create. Which, I mean, I really should not be all that surprised… we are talking about a flawed to the core, overly emotional, overly sensitive human being who lets her mouth run when it should be her feet running her burdens on over to Jesus. Am I the only one who can relate to this feeling of NEVER being able to get it right? I have the best intentions… but as the timeless adage says the path to a not so pleasant place is paved with those.
If we are all brutally honest with ourselves, the intention is not the most important thing. As a friend of mine reminds me during moments such as these, wisdom is proven right by its RESULTS, not by its intentions (unfortunately!). I would be one of the wisest people in the world if intentions were all that mattered. The thing that continues to stump, send me into a tailspin, and send me flying back under the cover of my Father is this fact: as much as we would like to lean on the crutch of good intentions, delivery and timing are irreplaceable. Our God is a God of order and He deserves a Spirit-led, discerning, well-timed people.
Our best intentions mean NOTHING if we try to take the place of God in a situation, if we try to do His work by correcting injustice, changing hearts, or just simply jumping the gun. His timing is always perfect…
So, this must mean that our intentions are not the problem. Our mouths are.
Think about it… good intentions + bad timing = a mess. Or, good intentions + poor delivery = a mess. Or even, good intentions + bad timing + poor delivery = pack your bags and move to Australia! Seriously though, I cannot coast through life on the basis of my intentions. If my intentions are honorable, but my words are haphazardly chosen, I change nothing. If my intentions are honorable, but it is not the God ordained time for those words to come out of my mouth, the situation gets worse instead of better. The good and shiny intentions get covered by the slime and muck stirred when I take it upon myself to step into a situation. And let’s all be real, God is SO MUCH MORE capable of fixing situations or dealing with people’s hearts and behaviors than we WILL EVER be. So, I am praying to learn (before I create another gigantic mess for myself) to restrain my good intentions (my desire for justice and fairness) with good timing and a Godly delivery.
I am so looking forward to becoming a woman of good intentions and good timing, a woman whose words and reactions always do justice to the motives of her heart.
That’s where I'm at on the journey.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
A March Makeover
Ah, March! My favorite month of the year... Spring is coming, which means brighter days, greener grass, fluffier clouds, fuller trees, blooming flowers, and one happy, gypsy-hearted girl. Since Spring is the season of change and re-birth after the steady, monotonous, and what feels like unchanging dreariness of winter, I figured it was time to spread that renewal mentality to other aspects of my life as well. So, here are the four things to be accomplished during my March Makeover.
1. De-Clutter My Life: I have too much stuff!! Don't we all?!? Well, my stuff has frustrated me to the point of near insanity. I want a clean space, where everything I own either has a practical purpose or a sentimental value. So,I will be de-cluttering it ALL: the closets, the car, the desk, the bookshelves (PAINFUL for this book junkie), the knick-knacks. Everything will be sorted through, kept or boxed up, thrown out or given to someone in need. I want to be a good steward of what God has given me and not a hoarder of possessions, like a dragon of Medieval lore sitting on a pile of treasure. I'd rather get rid of the stuff than have a knight try to slay me...just sayin'.
2. De-Clutter My Schedule: Where does my time go? This question hits me hard each week, as I try to complete a task list that seems to be ever-growing. But, is it growing because I am being Holy Spirit led or just because I am afraid to say no? Every activity, every obligation, whether Sacred or Secular will come under review this month. And, with God's direction, I hope to better focus my time and attention where it needs to be. We can't do EVERYTHING. We can all do SOMETHING. May we do that SOMETHING with all the energy and dedication we have within us.
3. De-Clutter My Mind: I think I have stopped challenging myself intellectually since I graduated from college. I mean, when you are in school, you're forced to challenge yourself. Whether it be a class on an unfamiliar topic (Hello, History of The Middle East with Dr. Wood) or a thought-provoking Novel (Hello, Lamb or any other novel assigned by Dr. Haughey), your brain is constantly exploring new domains or learning something. Well, I made a pact that I would always keep learning, even if my educational career ended after a Bachelor's Degree. It has been almost a year since graduation. The after-college, I'm-a-History-Major-English-Minor,Burn-Out period has definitely expired. It is time to not only read for entertainment (which I am a HUGE believer in! Hear me! HUGE!!) but to also make time to read for growth. This same concept applies to the films or television I watch and the music I listen to. Sure, we all need that fluffy, easy to digest, feel good entertainment, but I believe we also need the books, songs, and movies that make us feel something: anger, injustice, love, sadness, grief. Entertainment that is deep and thought-provoking and real enough to teach us something true about humanity and about ourselves. My first step in this direction: diving into Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go. A review will come in the near future!
4. De-Clutter My Heart and Spirit: I saved this one for last because if you remember nothing else from this somewhat personal and goal oriented blog, I want it to be this point. I am a super feeler and emotional sponge (as are many of us). I believe that as humans, we are all sort of like a reservoir...we take in the world around us. Sometimes, in seasons of trial and storm, we take in SO much that if we don't get ourselves cleaned out, we won't recover. During the beginning of Spring, the beginning of the world being made new AGAIN, I want God to make my heart new AGAIN. This winter has seemed to be one of upheaval, change, constant instrospection, painful growth, deep wounds, and unsteadiness. So, I'm ready for a change. I'm ready for Him to come in and help me sort through it all: the emotions, the words, the woes, the decisions, the doubt, the change. I am ready for Him to help me digest what needs to be learned and retained, heal what wounded my heart, and clean out burdens that were never mine to carry.
Spring. It is the season where the world is being made new, being made beautiful once again. May we all take the time to be still and let Him make beautiful things out of us!
1. De-Clutter My Life: I have too much stuff!! Don't we all?!? Well, my stuff has frustrated me to the point of near insanity. I want a clean space, where everything I own either has a practical purpose or a sentimental value. So,I will be de-cluttering it ALL: the closets, the car, the desk, the bookshelves (PAINFUL for this book junkie), the knick-knacks. Everything will be sorted through, kept or boxed up, thrown out or given to someone in need. I want to be a good steward of what God has given me and not a hoarder of possessions, like a dragon of Medieval lore sitting on a pile of treasure. I'd rather get rid of the stuff than have a knight try to slay me...just sayin'.
2. De-Clutter My Schedule: Where does my time go? This question hits me hard each week, as I try to complete a task list that seems to be ever-growing. But, is it growing because I am being Holy Spirit led or just because I am afraid to say no? Every activity, every obligation, whether Sacred or Secular will come under review this month. And, with God's direction, I hope to better focus my time and attention where it needs to be. We can't do EVERYTHING. We can all do SOMETHING. May we do that SOMETHING with all the energy and dedication we have within us.
3. De-Clutter My Mind: I think I have stopped challenging myself intellectually since I graduated from college. I mean, when you are in school, you're forced to challenge yourself. Whether it be a class on an unfamiliar topic (Hello, History of The Middle East with Dr. Wood) or a thought-provoking Novel (Hello, Lamb or any other novel assigned by Dr. Haughey), your brain is constantly exploring new domains or learning something. Well, I made a pact that I would always keep learning, even if my educational career ended after a Bachelor's Degree. It has been almost a year since graduation. The after-college, I'm-a-History-Major-English-Minor,Burn-Out period has definitely expired. It is time to not only read for entertainment (which I am a HUGE believer in! Hear me! HUGE!!) but to also make time to read for growth. This same concept applies to the films or television I watch and the music I listen to. Sure, we all need that fluffy, easy to digest, feel good entertainment, but I believe we also need the books, songs, and movies that make us feel something: anger, injustice, love, sadness, grief. Entertainment that is deep and thought-provoking and real enough to teach us something true about humanity and about ourselves. My first step in this direction: diving into Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go. A review will come in the near future!
4. De-Clutter My Heart and Spirit: I saved this one for last because if you remember nothing else from this somewhat personal and goal oriented blog, I want it to be this point. I am a super feeler and emotional sponge (as are many of us). I believe that as humans, we are all sort of like a reservoir...we take in the world around us. Sometimes, in seasons of trial and storm, we take in SO much that if we don't get ourselves cleaned out, we won't recover. During the beginning of Spring, the beginning of the world being made new AGAIN, I want God to make my heart new AGAIN. This winter has seemed to be one of upheaval, change, constant instrospection, painful growth, deep wounds, and unsteadiness. So, I'm ready for a change. I'm ready for Him to come in and help me sort through it all: the emotions, the words, the woes, the decisions, the doubt, the change. I am ready for Him to help me digest what needs to be learned and retained, heal what wounded my heart, and clean out burdens that were never mine to carry.
Spring. It is the season where the world is being made new, being made beautiful once again. May we all take the time to be still and let Him make beautiful things out of us!
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