Who Am I???

My last two posts have focused pretty heavily on not letting anyone or anything define our worth, define us. But, what do you do when you don't really know who you are? How do you say "NO!" to false identifiers, when you are not sure what your true identity is? This is where I feel I am at. Part of me thinks that it is normal--this constant change and transformation. Life is about growth! We are constantly being made new, right? Also, I think it is a normal "20 Something" feeling to not really know who you are and what you are about. You discover these things as you go. However, I also feel like not knowing who you are in a world that is constantly trying to make you into something else is a dangerous thing. So, who is Bethany Wade? I get glimpses of who I really am, I think, every once in a while. These glimpses have begun to be more like long glances--with the exception of today, which was pure chaos. I don't know where real Bethany went. She was probably hiding from crazy, anxious, insecure Bethany. That girl's a menace! ;) What was reinforced to me today in several ways was that I would not feel so insecure, my relationships would not seem so shaky, and I just generally wouldn't be sp freaked out by life if I had more of a handle of Who I am. If I knew it, accepted it, embraced it, and celebrated it. Truth is, we cannot go through life being strangers to ourselves. The world needs a people who know who they are and what they are about. So, this is the plan. And to all you soul-searchers who are reading this tonight, I encourage you to do this with me... Take a sheet of paper. It could be in a notebook, a piece of computer paper plastered to your fridge, or a Word Document on your computer. But, get yourself and empty sheet of paper and write this questions at the top: "Who Am I?" Now, here is the tricky part--don't answer it right away. Pray. Ask God to show you who you are. Ask Him to give you specific words to describe yourself. I mean, He created us. If anyone could and should tell us who we really are, past the fears, the hurts, the insecurities, and the struggles...He would be the one. Then, write that truth down...and never forget it.

Self-Worth...iness!!!

I read an article in the paper that made my spirit cringe. Inner Bethany shouted "No!" as my brain processed the words I had seen. I was reading an ad for a local gym containing a testimonial. This person proclaimed that working out at this fitness facility had increased their self-worth. SELF WORTH. Those were the exact words that were used. Not self-esteem, not self-confidence but self-worth. We all know that we live in a culture which tells us from a very young age what determines our worth. Our size, shape, skin color, attitude, and intelligence all figure into the calculation. Once all has been added, subtracted, and divided, we come out with our self-worth. "I am a smidge overweight, so that is minus two, BUT I have loads of confidence and attitude. That must be plus three at least, right?" Truth is, we just need to STOP. Stop letting others or even letting ourselves in those dark, gloom filled places base our worth on things that don't matter. Our worth is not quantifiable. We are not worth more because we are married, or because we are young, or because we are wealthy, or because we weigh less than 150 pounds. We are not more worthy because we went to college or because we've traveled the globe. Our skin color, eye color, profession, or talents do not make us more or less worthy. Again, our worth is not quantifiable. We are worthy because we ARE. We exist. We were made intricately and uniquely by the Creator of the Universe. Therefore, we are worthy. We are worthy of love. We are worthy of appreciation. We are worthy of respect. We are worthy of protection. Not because we are pretty (or handsome), not because of who our husband or are wife is, not because we are skinny, not because we are outspoken. We cannot earn our worth. We are BORN with it. So, today, I encourage everyone and I encourage myself: To refuse to let anyone or anything on this earth define my worth. To draw a line in the sand, a boundary for the values and criticism of this culture, and when something or someone tries to cross it--to raise my flag higher and fight back. May you recognize your self-worthiness!

A Day Without Mirrors. A Week of Self-Worth

Today begins my week of blog posts focused around the topics of self-worth and self-image, culminating in my own mini-social experiment (thanks to some of the beautiful ladies of Realife Ministries!) I was inspired by a Blogger Challenge given by author Kjerstin Gruys. Her book, Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall, chronicles her year-long experience of going without looking at any mirrors or reflective surfaces. In it, she explains how her attitude about her body and her self as a whole shifted. (To learn more about Kjerstin and her book, click here!) One would think that by not looking in a mirror, she found herself more self-conscious and insecure. In reality, the opposite occurred. By not focusing on her physical appearance as much, she found herself liberated, empowered, and content with not only her appearance but also her personality, intellect, and relationships. Before the public release of the book, she asked bloggers to read about her journey and do their own "Day Without Mirrors." It is an interesting concept, right? Could you do it? Could you go without looking at yourself in mirrors for 365 days? I honestly found one day to be a struggle...but not for the reason that you might think. Normally, I don't spend alot of my time in front of/ or looking in mirrors. I look in the mirror to brush my hair, do my make up, and check my clothes... the rest of the day, I don't really pay much attention to how I look. So, besides styling my hair by feel and putting on minimal make up to avoid being confused with a clown, the absence of mirrors did not really change the course of my day. However, I did notice that mirrors are EVERYWHERE! I mean, besides avoiding actual mirrors in my bathroom, in my car, and at work, there are reflective surfaces all around me: car windows, computer screens, etc. It seems we can see ourselves every time we turn around. Coincidence? I think not! No wonder we live in a world where everyone looks OUT for themselves...they are literally looking AT themselves all the time! The other thing that jumped out to me during my day was that mirrors are one of the MANY things that we rely upon to tell us who we are. Some people place a huge amount of emphasis on their looks, for others it is their job, and for many more, it is their talents. The list goes on...people try to use money, relationships, smarts, humor, or sarcasm to define them. That is why Kjerstin's book is so universal to me. She basically chronicles what happens when we remove the false identifiers, when we refuse to let other people or things define who we are, how much we are worth, and what we can do. That was what kept crossing my mind today every time I averted my eyes at my own reflection. How many things, how many people do I allow to tell me who I am and dictate how I feel about myself? How often do I exchange the TRUTH of who and Whose I am for the the LIES that this world cooks up? While all of us may not feel the deep desire to go without looking in any reflective surface for a year, may we take time today to evaluate WHO or WHAT we use to define us. The truth is: We were created by God. Therefore, we matter. Therefore, we are worth it. Therefore, we are beautiful. Therefore, we are enough.