He Hears Me...

Have you ever prayed for something for an extended period of time?

If so, you understand how frustrating it can become when you pray and pray and pray... but you do not receive an answer to your question or a fulfillment to your request.

It feels as if your prayers are trapped by the clouds. They don't quite go anywhere. Sometimes, you are tempted to ask, "God, do you even hear me? Do you see me?"

That was my question last night...

And my answer came this morning...

I have been making my way through the Psalms. This morning, I read Psalm 17-21. In Psalm 17:6, I read something that made me stop, causing tears to well up in my eyes.

"I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God."

This might be one of the hardest parts of faith: Believing in spite of our feelings.

All we can do is pray with confidence, knowing that God will answer in HIS TIME and according to HIS WILL. Even though we feel like God does not hear us, see what we are going through, and understand our pain, we have to have faith that He does. We cannot rely on our feelings. God is a promise-keeper. I have seen fulfilled promises and answers to prayers more times than I can count. Why would he behave differently this time?

I pray because I know he will answer. What a wonderful lesson to re-learn.

With Different Eyes...

How do I see myself?

Three different people on three separate occasions have told me, "Bethany, you don't see yourself the way other people see you." I am only coming to understand the depth of these words this week.

There is a huge gap between what I see and the truth of who I am. But this is not an ailment specific to only me...

I cannot tell you how many people I know and love do not see themselves the way I do. When I look at them, I see beauty and strength where they see flaws and weakness. I see compassion and loyalty where they feel isolated and judgmental. I see a wounded heart where they feel bitterness.

In my eyes, love covers these people. They are by no means perfect, but they are loved regardless. I see with different eyes because these individuals mean so much to me.

If my love, which is unstable and earth-bound covers them, I am in awe of how God sees us. Through his never-ending, never-failing love I am seen. What a wonderful thought that I am not only seen, but I am seen as I TRULY am. My creator sees me, sees the truth of who I am.

His love covers me. It covers my insecurities, weaknesses, flaws, doubt, and stupidity. It covers my pride, judgments, and freak outs. It covers my awkwardness, control freak tendencies, and fear. It covers self-doubt.

My God does not make mistakes. Everything He made "was good."

How do I see myself?

Because of God's love, I finally see myself with different eyes.