Cherished

So, I recently...like a week and a half ago...bought a 2012 calendar. I know, I know. One month (soon to be two) is already behind us, and the only explanation I can offer you is that my life and schedule have fallen painstakingly behind in ALL things.

However, I picked up an adorable and somewhat whimsical calendar from Wal-Mart for less than $5. Little did I know, this bright and cheerful wall art would not only help me keep track of my days, but it would also inspire a monthly series for the blog.

Each month, I will write an entry about the word featured on my wall calendar. I'm kind of excited about it actually. I mean, I only know February and March's words so far (because I always like to preview what picture falls on my birthday month!) I am doing my best not to peek until it is time to begin the writing process!
Geek...Why, yes, I'm aware.



Word of the Month: Cherished.

Cherished... Aahhh!! I just love the sound of that word as it rolls off your tongue and out of your mouth. It seems like it belongs in some old school, black and white film and not a wall calendar. It is beautiful and deep and unable to be completely defined (like the best, most pure, and most wonderful things in life are).

The truth is: We all want to be cherished. I don't know a person on this planet, man or woman, elderly person or small child, who does not harbor a secret desire to be "held dear, felt or shown affection for, kept or cultivated with care and affection, and entertained or harbored in the mind deeply or resolutely."

I desire to be an integral part of the people in my world's lives. I desire to be cherished. To not merely be a fleeting influence or presence that is there one minute and gone the next, but to be interwoven in the hearts, minds, and spirits of those around me. To be thought of, felt for, remembered fondly, and laughed with (and sometimes at...I'm a believer that is good for the soul too!). To be a blessing, to be a member of another's memories, to touch lives whether it is the lives of my family, friends, the children I teach, or the people who walk into where I work. I desire to be someone who is cherished.

But, more importantly, I harbor an earnest and consuming desire to cherish others. I want to be the type of person who finds something in each person worth cherishing, worth savoring, worth remembering. I want random words and colors and thoughts and songs and pictures to make me think of someone...and not just think of someone, but think of someone fondly. I want to take the time to tell (in word, action, and prayer)the people I love, the people who surround me with goodness, comfort, color, prayer, accountability, strength, humor, wit, wisdom, gentleness, and humility, that I CHERISH them. They are treasures. They are interwoven in the fabric of my heart, spirit, and life, and that wherever I go from here, I am indebted to their Godly love, encouragement, and patience (oh, massive amounts of patience). That I am who I am because they were who they are to me, and they allowed God to use them mightily in the big and the small things.

So, to all the colorful people who make up my little world: You are cherished!

Emotional Leprosy: Part II (The Best Part!)

So, yesterday, it was pretty much confirmed that I am an emotional leper. I think to a certain degree, we all are or can be at certain points in our lives. We all have moments where our emotions make us sick and attempt to destroy us, where they spread uncontrollably like a wildfire and threaten the people around us, where they send us away: disconnected, untouchable, and ashamed. But good news for us, and the main focus of today’s blog: The same Jesus who healed the physical lepers of the New Testament is still in the business of healing the emotional lepers of today.

One article I found about leprosy had this title, “Biblical Leprosy: Shedding Light on the Disease That Shuns.” Now, that is a powerful image. How often are we shunned by the emotional conditions of our lives? I know I am. I REFUSE sometimes to be touched by others. I run. I hide my face and heart in shame, embarrassed that insecurity, anxiety, and fear are sometimes written all over my skin, plain as leprous nodules.

But…Jesus always finds me. It never fails. Wherever I want to run to, He’s there before me. When I’m ashamed, He lifts my face. When I feel like my emotional leprosy has been fatal to me and my relationships, He saves and then He restores…just like He did in the New Testament. In Luke 17:11-19 it says:

“Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, ‘Jesus, Master, have pity on us!’ When he saw them, he said, ‘Go, show yourselves to the priests.’ And as they went, they were cleansed. One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, ‘Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?’ Then he said to him, ‘Rise and go; your faith has made you well’.”

From my limited knowledge, in New Testament times, lepers were the outcasts. Those infected with this disease lived their lives apart from the rest of the population (leper colonies, anyone?) When they had to be around others, they walked with hands over their mouth and the word “Unclean” on their lips, ready to warn any unsuspecting person to stay away.

From this passage of Scripture, we see Jesus healing ten lepers and only one returning to Him to give thanks. I have heard many messages centering around this passage that chose to focus on the lack of thankfulness of the nine who did not return to Jesus. However, when examining this Scripture in the light of emotional leprosy, I thought about something else. What if the nine did not come back because they couldn’t let go of their old way of looking at themselves? What if, in their heart of hearts, they doubted whether or not they had been made whole and set free? What if they believed their disease would come back because it was not a permanent healing?

Jesus had healed them. Fact. Jesus had overcome EVERYTHING. Fact. But, He couldn’t make them believe it. He could not make them live like they were free. The one leper that returned to Jesus could have refused to believe that he was fully, completely, and utterly healed. He could have maintained the mentality he had always used when thinking of himself. He could have remained one of the “Unclean,” one of the “Untouchables.”

We are the same way. Jesus has set me free and healed me from every anxiety, insecurity, and fear. He has broken down every stronghold of addiction, pride, greed, and anger. Every emotionally leprous thing has been OVERCOME. But, it is up to us to live it out. Because, you see, we are either healed or not healed, free or enslaved, victims or overcomers. Our God does nothing half-way. His work is complete. So, we must live based on the truth and our faith NOT on feelings. We must throw ourselves at His feet daily and thank Him for setting us free. I had to do this very thing this morning. Curled up before him like a kitten at the mercy of someone so much stronger and capable than myself and repeating the words to Kari Jobe’s Steady My Heart:

"I will run to You because I know that You are the Lover of My Soul and Healer of My Scars."

If He says we are free, that’s it. End of story. So, we throw ourselves before Him and allow our feelings to catch up with our reality, even when it seems like we struggle with the same emotional issues, even when we don’t feel free. We thank Him for the TRUTH that we ARE.

And, then He lifts our face and tells us once again that our faith has indeed made us well.

Emotional Leprosy: Part I

A few weeks ago, I was reading a chapter in Joyce Meyer’s The Battle Belongs to the Lord where she mentioned the concept of “Emotional Leprosy.” Now, it was mentioned in a small portion of one sentence, but the idea struck me and has stuck with me since then, fermenting in my heart and mind. Recently (finally), I was able to put pen to paper about the topic…or finger to keys. This blog has gone through many stages, lots of turmoil and upheaval, and several drafts, but here it is.

What is leprosy? Webster's Dictionary defines it as:

A chronic infectious disease caused by a mycobacterium (Mycobacterium leprae) affecting especially the skin and peripheral nerves and characterized by the formation of nodules or macules that enlarge and spread accompanied by loss of sensation with eventual paralysis, wasting of muscle, and production of deformities.

Well, that’s a mouthful. Now, while I DEFINITELY don’t want to use this blog to clarify the various types of bacteria or go into the difference between nodules and macules (Is there a difference? Anyone?), I do think that we can gain a large amount of understanding about emotional leprosy from the definition of its physical counterpart.

Let me preface everything said from here on out with this one statement: I AM AN EMOTIONAL LEPER. Everything written here, I’ve done. In fact, I haven’t just done… I DO. But, even in my flaws and struggles, He still speaks truth.

From our good buddy, Webster’s definition of this infectious disease, we can also define emotional leprosy as chronic, growing, spreading, desensitizing, paralyzing, wasteful, and deforming.

First, emotional lepers are those who struggle with chronic emotional issues, the issues that appear over and over and over again. It is not just losing your temper once; it is continually struggling to keep your cool when minor things go wrong. It is not a moment of insecurity that you tuck into the back of your mind; it is insecurity that you dwell on, are consumed by, and that throws you into a tail spin.

Secondly, emotional leprosy comes from emotions that grow…often growing so speedily that they are soon out of control. Fear is no longer a natural, understandable response to a threatening situation; it has grown into your go-to response to every situation.

Third, leprous emotions are never restricted to one person. They suck others in. They spread to everyone around you. So much so, that soon the people who love you, the people who need you to be who you were created to be, the people whom you love and would sacrifice for are overwhelmed in the mire and muck that you’ve introduced into their lives. Like a virus, it rapidly passes from one person to another in quick succession. You’re insecurity can make others insecure. You’re fear can feed the fears of others. And, you’re wrong if you think your emotional chains are only ensnaring you.

Fourth, and in my opinion, one of the most damaging products of emotional leprosy is that it desensitizes you to the troubles of others. You become so wrapped up in your own little world that you fail to influence the world around you. Every conversation somehow circles back to your own issues. Every other problem pales in comparison to your own. Other people are floundering and struggling, but you don’t see. In all honesty, you don’t even care. You are incapable of feeling for other people. Emotional leprosy breeds selfishness.

Fifth, as believers, we are in trouble when our emotions paralyze us. I’ve experienced times, in fact, in brutal honesty, I’ve experienced times in the last three weeks where my fear has paralyzed me, where my insecurity left me frozen where I stood. I couldn’t go back (my mind knew better than that), but I couldn’t go forward (my heart was not focused on Jesus). There is no growth. There is no movement. There is just stagnation, paralysis, and eventual uselessness.

Sixth, emotional leprosy wastes the lives God has given each one of us. It wastes our talents, strengths, and gifts. It pains my heart to look back on my moments and days wasted because I chose to wallow in fear, anxiety, and insecurity. He has a plan for us. As believers, we affirm this statement in our hearts and minds. He has made us for more than these struggles. We cannot allow our emotions, bondages, and addictions to keep us from fulfilling His plan and purpose. We cannot allow our emotional leprosy to waste our spiritual muscles. Each day, each moment, can be spent in accordance with His plan, or it can be wasted. The choice is ours.

Lastly, if left unchecked and not dealt with, emotional leprosy can permanently scar and deform us. Our wounds, sometimes self-inflicted, but always dwelled on, elevated, and nursed by personal choice come to define us. We walk around as the Emotionally Deformed. We enter into relationships with others with the following excuses: “I can’t trust because…” “I refuse to love others completely because…” “I won’t feel deserving and secure because…” Our emotions become our label, our label for our relationships and ourselves.

Woah. I’m a complete emotional leper. Anyone else?

Well, Praise God, this isn’t the end of the story. Come back tomorrow for the best part: the fairytale ending.

Amber

Today's your birthday, beautiful girl. You're 27 today... man, you're getting old. :) I love you, sis. You're sassy, funny, witty, and charming. You're generous, strong, independent, and intelligent. Take time to celebrate you today, and know that from South Carolina, mom, dad, and I are celebrating you too!



Mr. Potato Head... and a pose, of course.


One line will suffice: "Happy Birthday, Bethany!!" Said in your best fake voice! :)




Matching outfits. Because we're that cool!


Why do you always have to be posing?


Have you bitten a child, yet?


Love the face... I think you still do this face when something is going on that you are not too happy about.






Why would mom ever let me wear my hair like this... and why, in accordance with the sister code, would you let HER let ME?!?!?!




Oh my word!!! Look how little our boys are!!!! :(


Daddy's girls. Always!




Beautiful girl!






You are loved. And remember, "A sister is a little bit of childhood that can never be lost."